The Inside Scoop

By JROCK

As time goes by and through my inside sources in the French government (my aunt had a fling once with current Minister Of Foreign Affairs, Bernard Kouchner, when he was studying in the States in the fall of 1965), I have intercepted little kernels of information about France’s debacle in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.  This information sheds light on the mindset of the players as they staged their mini-coup in front of the world and, ultimately, led to their embarrassing demise and early exit from the tournament.  Here’s an excerpt of what I have uncovered, roughly translated into English:

Idiot coach,

We do not agree with your decision to remove Nicolas Anelka from the squad.  I am Patrice Evra and I play for Manchester United.  I am more important than you and so are many of these players.  I have gathered a list of other issues that are bothering us, please read it a few times or have someone read it to you if you can’t read, which would make sense because you are dumb.

-  Mr. Unibrow, you look like a muppet and no one takes you seriously.

-  Stupid face, we play half-hearted because we know deep down that we cheated and that Ireland should be here and not us.

-  Idiot boss, unless you bring us underage prostitutes, we are not practicing.

-  Buffoon, I’m always confused about why we have a logo of a chicken on our jersey.  I doubt you have the answer but I thought I would ask anyway.

-  Horse’s a**, the young players are terrified of Franck. They think he looks like Quasimodo.  Would you consider bringing Anelka back and kicking off Ribery instead?

Please resign,

The Players Of Les Bleus

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What will happen next?  No one knows but since the French government is now meddling in the French Football Federation’s affairs, things should only get better from here.

I’ll keep you posted.

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